It’s 1 am on February 19th, 2020. I’m sitting on my bed in the room I rent in Fremont, California staring at the ceiling and feeling like all 4 walls around me are starting to cave in. I just came home from a quick trip out to Dallas, Texas to meet my 3-month-old niece for the first time. It felt great to get away and spend some quality time with my family and friends in the Lonestar State, but right now at this very moment as my fingers hit the keys, I feel stuck.

We are now 6 weeks into the new year –excuse me, new decade– and honestly, I don’t feel like I accomplished shit. On December 31, 2020, I took out a pen and pad and wrote out my 5 and 10-year plans along with a plan for the year 2020 to help me build momentum as I continue my entrepreneurship journey in the new decade. Fast forward 6 weeks and at this moment I find myself here, stuck.

Stuck in a rut that has lasted for the past 6 weeks.

And if I told you the same cliche phrase people tend to use when their life isn’t in order, “I’m not sure how I ended up here,” that would be a lie. I know exactly how I ended up here. I’ve been wasting time. I haven’t been disciplined. I’ve been allowing family, friends, prior obligations, and old hard-to-break habits to distract me from my goals. You see what we do in the present is what determines our future. Not only for the year 2020 but for the next 10 years, maybe longer, and right now as I’m sitting here reflecting on the past few weeks, my future isn’t looking too bright. Matter of fact, if I continue to stay in this continuous cycle that many of us find ourselves in I will continue to remain stuck.

Stuck at a “good job” that pays ok has good benefits but honestly doesn’t inspire me.

Stuck hanging out with “friends” who have no goals outside of working a 9 to 5 and going to happy hours 3x a week and a club or 2 on the weekends.

Stuck with no money to invest in a property that could be used for retail or Airbnb that would produce residual income and, in turn, provide the flexibility of having financial freedom.

Stuck with the same title and salary and barely enough left over after rent and bills to put something away for a rainy day each month.

And stuck with only a smidgen left after every check to put into my side business.

I don’t know what to tell you. I just feel stuck.

“And if I told you the same cliche phrase people tend to use when their life isn’t in order, ‘I’m not sure how I ended up here,’ that would be a lie. I know exactly how I ended up here.”

But in all reality, I did this to myself. I paid more attention and invested more time and energy into things that had nothing to do with me and my goals. I allowed the club nights, day parties with friends, splurging on vacays, eating out, drinking, and Netflix and chill to deter me from the work I should be doing. I traded learning a new skill and executing tasks for immersing myself in environments that don’t spark my creativity but instead provided me with the temporary rush of instant gratification.

6 weeks of the new year gone. Wasted. With nothing to show for it. With no one to take the blame but me. Is anyone else finding themselves in this same predicament? I know I can’t be the only one. And the sad part is I know I am way better than this. I know many of us are way better than this. We have dreams and goals that we want to accomplish at the beginning of the year, new year resolutions that we spent days dwelling over and planning out. We were so excited about our plans and the opportunity that every new year brings. We even started working on our goals in December to get a jumpstart. And yet we find ourselves right back here again repeating the same habits we swore we would leave behind in 2019.